Back in rainy Notts

Well, my weekend away was brilliant. Saturday was meant to be L and my wedding day had I not got so ill, and it felt a bit funny waking up knowing I was supposed to be walking down the aisle. But hey, you can't dwell right?

So off we went to Cambridge, and it was actually a sunny day which was nice. We arrived at the hotel (a Holiday Inn) and I was happy to see there were fields out front with horses in! When we checked into our room we discovered that L's mum had had a huge bouquet of flowers delivered there for me, and a bottle of bubbly sat cooling in an ice bucket for us to share! It was amazing. I'd always dreamed someone would do that for me, and though it was my mother-in-law, not L himself, it still made me feel special.

After settling in we went for a walk round the lake and through fields which was nice. After such a stressful week for us both it was great to relax and laugh. When we got back we went to the hotel pool and swam, having a jacuzzi and blast in the steam room as well. I only lasted 5 mins in the steam room as too much heat isn't great if you have heart problems. But I did manage to go from steam room to the pool, thus managing a cold plunge!!!

On Saturday evening we watched Eurovision Song Contest and had our picnic. It was a really nice picnic; I'd made great savoury rice, but L did the rest. He did chicken and chorizo kebabs, cucumber sticks, salmon flakes, hard boiled eggs, bread sticks and dip and some ham. We hadn't eaten since breakfast and with all that exercise were pretty hungry! Eurovision itself was its usual pile of shite and we lost I think! But voting is always rigged as its all political. Scandinavian countries vote for themselves, as do Balkans, etc etc. We're all alone out there! I fell asleep before the end but didn't miss much!

Sunday morning came and we went to breakfast. After that we went to Cambridge city centre which I hadn't been to since I'd gone to my uni interview in 2001. It was raining so we didn't take a punt, but we did go all around the city centre, walking about 10 miles over the day! We had fun despite the rain, and I got to show L the college I'd got a place at but declined. We went into a museum which had genuine relics from ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt, including a genuine mummy with body inside! When we got back to the hotel we swam again (well it was free to use so we had to get our money's worth!) then went to dinner. Dinner was awful; we each had £20 to spend on the meal as part of the room package, but it was all overpriced and not great stuff. The bread was stale, soup luke warm, etc etc. I struggle eating out, and it was pretty hard going. Despite not eating much we went over our limit so had to pay the extra. Not a good meal and a bit of a disappointment, but we just thought that if we ever went to a Holiday Inn again we'll eat out!

On Monday we had breakfast then came back to Notts. There we had the usual dross of getting groceries in and unpacking.

It's a shame it's all over but we were glad we went. My parents had paid for the first night there as part of a sorry-you're-not-getting-married present, and dog-sat for us, which I am very grateful for. We hadn't been away somewhere that wasn't a set of parents for well over a couple of years.

I feel better in myself for getting away. I'd felt quite depressed last week and I still don't feel great, but I'm able to cope with it a little better now. I hate being on the Pill, but it's the best thing for my bone and endometrial health so I'll have to cope. I feel so much fatter on it, bigger boobs, butt and thighs. It makes me want to starve again but I know I have to try and stay strong. I can't put L through that again. Or myself. And living is great, just so hard having to put food in my mouth, chew, swallow, keep it down and not exercise too much. Still, if nothing else I'm a tough cookie.